Oil Painting, 2006
Psalm 71:14
"As for me, I will hope continually for your help and will praise you yet more and more."
Something that really helped me in times of suffering was reading the psalms and praying them back to God. In the book of Psalms, we have shocking honesty and glorious hope coming together. The Psalms encourage us to come to God we are, honestly, to a Loving Father who is near. The words of the psalmist gave words to my inexpressible feelings in such a lonely place as caregiving.
Psalm 71:14
"As for me, I will hope continually for your help and will praise you yet more and more."
Something that really helped me in times of suffering was reading the psalms and praying them back to God. In the book of Psalms, we have shocking honesty and glorious hope coming together. The Psalms encourage us to come to God we are, honestly, to a Loving Father who is near. The words of the psalmist gave words to my inexpressible feelings in such a lonely place as caregiving.
I learned that the Psalms are wonderful expressions of praise, thanksgiving, and yes, even complaints. The Psalms of lament give us a voice for expressing ourselves as we walk through this troubled world. Their prose expresses the extremes of human life—suffering and joy. I discovered that they reflect a crisis from which the psalmist prays for deliverance. These laments don't deny God’s sovereignty, presence, knowledge, care or goodness. In fact, they depend on those characteristics, because the solution to the problem is always God.
This painting comes from Psalm 71:14, and the song created from it, "Yet I Will Praise." (by Vineyard Music and Andy Park, 2008.) When we were caring for my Mom, we'd often tune into a TV channel called "The Worship Network" which played hymns while showing scripture and God’s beauty in nature scenes. The channel served as a blessing daily in many ways. It would keep my Mom interested and calm because she loved beautiful things, but also, so many times this song would be playing and it became a great comfort to me. The words, "Even when my heart is torn...." echoed in my heart especially because it was so difficult to praise Him as I watched my mom suffering with uncontrollable anxieties, losing her functioning and seemingly disappearing before my eyes. This tune seemed to be playing precisely when I needed to hear it.
So, in my Moms final weeks, I decided to set up my oil paints and canvas in her bedroom and I painted as her soul slowly left her body-(She was the one who taught me how to paint when I was a little girl.) This painting encompasses so much of the emotion of those last days with her; I like to think of the bird like images as angels escorting her finally healed soul to the Lord. Reflecting on psalms like these and expressing my feelings through the paint helped me to let go and express my feelings to God in appropriate, meaningful ways.
This painting comes from Psalm 71:14, and the song created from it, "Yet I Will Praise." (by Vineyard Music and Andy Park, 2008.) When we were caring for my Mom, we'd often tune into a TV channel called "The Worship Network" which played hymns while showing scripture and God’s beauty in nature scenes. The channel served as a blessing daily in many ways. It would keep my Mom interested and calm because she loved beautiful things, but also, so many times this song would be playing and it became a great comfort to me. The words, "Even when my heart is torn...." echoed in my heart especially because it was so difficult to praise Him as I watched my mom suffering with uncontrollable anxieties, losing her functioning and seemingly disappearing before my eyes. This tune seemed to be playing precisely when I needed to hear it.
So, in my Moms final weeks, I decided to set up my oil paints and canvas in her bedroom and I painted as her soul slowly left her body-(She was the one who taught me how to paint when I was a little girl.) This painting encompasses so much of the emotion of those last days with her; I like to think of the bird like images as angels escorting her finally healed soul to the Lord. Reflecting on psalms like these and expressing my feelings through the paint helped me to let go and express my feelings to God in appropriate, meaningful ways.
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