HE IS ABLE....

Let us expect more, and ask for more, encouraged by what Christ has already done for our souls. He is mightier than what confronts us- (In the case of this, my first painting post surgery, He is mightier than my impaired vision-)

We are to bear up under it in a way in which glorifies Him, by calling on Him, ascribing strength to Him, & by praying through the difficulties as they serve to purge our dross. <3

"He Satisfies~ Isaiah 58:11."
Colored Pencil, 2013

"The Hidden Blessings of Alzheimer's"

When my Dad suddenly passed away in the summer of 2001, we felt God calling us to take a leap of faith and move from Texas to Illinois to take care of my Mom, Marie Dubuque, as she journeyed through the stages of Alzheimer's. We learned much during the years of caring for her. Mostly, we learned that God can use anything, even this ugly disease, to heal relationships, to grow us in grace and to deeply trust in His tender, loving, care. Beautiful things came from our caregiving experience and as we move forward we feel it important to encourage others to trust God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, in every circumstance in which He places us.....

Caring for Alzheimer's is a nearly impossible situation. We were only able to keep my Mom out of a nursing home because God gave me so much: my dear, supportive husband and family, friends that came alongside in tangible ways, many part time nursing students, and live-in help via polish caregivers. During my Mom’s last two and a half years of life, she needed total care, just as dependent on us as an infant. 

Throughout these strenuous years I kept a prayer journal, logging mostly when God provided in remarkable ways for us. As part of my post-caregiving healing process, I've been reviewing them and expressing them through my creative process. The verses you see displayed here were staples in our everyday life and still prove to be! These paintings are the beginning glimpses of the lessons we learned during our almost 8 years of caregiving.  

I desire to point you, my viewers, to hope in God, no matter what your struggle may be because I know from experience that everything else we set our hopes on will eventually let us down. The same God who said, “I won't save you from a distance, I'll come as you came- as a baby”, is the same God who also comes near to us in suffering.  I encourage you to draw near to Him as well. We found that from something ugly, like disease, Hope can emerge. We can't fully know all the blessings that have come from our experience, but these things we do know, and look forward to that day in heaven when all will be revealed. 

You never forget what He speaks to you out of the storm. May this exhibit encourage and strengthen you! Peace and blessings to you, Friends!

"Forevermore."
Soft Pastel, 2012

"Reconciling What Happened to my Mom with God’s Goodness"

What we KNOW:

• God knows all and is ever-present
  
  
• His power is infinite, limitless
  
  
• He is merciful, just, faithful
  
  
• He promises to be at work in our lives and therefore, He is our true Hope
  
  
• That our view of things is severely limited
  
  
• Scripture speaks succinctly and powerfully to suffering Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-4
  
  
• Gods sanctification in our afflictions are a greater mercy than if He were to deliver us out of them
  
  
• "For I consider that the problems of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18. It won't only be 100 times better, it is NOT WORTH comparing
  
  
• He is working all things for our good Romans 8:28
  
  
• His plan is to grow us to become more like Him...
  
  

Through the caregiving experience, I now have GAINED:

• An outpouring of God's love and grace through His people in the church
  
  
• Understanding that His Grace is truly sufficient in every circumstance 
  
  
• Opportunities to speak about the Hope we can have in suffering and trials
  
  
• Teaching pottery classes about how God molds, shapes and refines us 
  
  
• Understanding that God created us more resilient than I ever knew
  
  
• Opportunities to share the blessings of God through artwork.
  
  
• A great compassion and tenderness for those who suffer
  
  
• Confidence in His faithfulness and promises
  
  
• Reconciliation of relationship with my Mom
  
  
• Transformation in myself more precious than gold
  
  
• Gratefulness to God for His plans in our lives
  
  
• Humility before His all-sufficiency
  
  
• An active prayer life and prayer card ministry
• 
  
• Seeing God break through disease 
  
  
• Truth about the character of God
  
  
• A sound theology of suffering
  
  

What a beautiful object lesson God gives us by looking at the oyster! Pearls are formed by a small grain of sand, which is a constant irritant to the oyster. It's the irritant that produces the gem.

Likewise, many of the good things God has for us come to us seemingly as irritants and under pressure... 

This pressure is the funnel under which many virtues flow, producing life transformation if we let it have it’s full effect.  James 1:2-8 says: "Count it all joy, when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” By His strength and grace, we can patiently endure the pressures of life as we seek Him.

Take, for example, those wonderful statements of paradox that Jesus gave to the multitudes in the beatitudes when He said things like: “How happy are those who know what sorrow means. Happy are those who claim nothing. Happy are those who have suffered persecution. Be glad then. Yes, be tremendously glad.”  We will see how God is good in it, either now or later. 

"Lord, give me the staying power, teach me of your steadfastness, that in the end I can grow in virtue and give glory to you even more."

“His Careful Watchfulness”
Computer Generated Watercolor, 2013

God governs His world in infinite wisdom. Everything He has created and all their actions are continually under his careful watchfulness. The eye of Providence is quick- sighted, it is intent, it runs to and fro, it reaches far. No corner of creation is hidden from under it, not the most dark nor distant, for He is eager to show Himself strong on behalf of those who are committed to Him.

“Your Mercy”
Acrylic, 2013

One of the unique things about being a caregiver is that you continually bump into your sin. I wish I could report that the years caring for my Mom with Alzheimer's were all characterized with gentleness and peace but sin abounds in this fallen world.

Continually answering your loved ones questions over & over every hour is exhausting. Impatience, anger and frustration with their new in-abilities wells up. ....

I remember that I would sometimes explode in anger toward her and afterward I would be harsh on myself for what I had said. I would return to her remorseful and seeking forgiveness, but with her forgetfulness, she'd only show me love because in her mind it had never happened; she had completely forgotten. What an example this is of how God treats His children. His unfailing mercy toward me was so touching, so pronounced because every hour, every few minutes I failed, yet “... I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” (Hebrews 8:12)


God used this to melt my heart toward my Mom. I began looking at her through His lenses and I was learning how desperately I need His grace. His compassion for me overflowed in me so that I was able to treat my Mother with more grace; just as He had done with me. 

"My Shelter"
Watercolor

"But does she still know who you are.....?"

There was such an emphasis stressed in that question.  I wasted so many hours worrying about how I would react when this awful 'dreaded moment' would occur.

It happened during one of the most tense parts of our day. I was coaching my Mom on how to put her clothes on. "No! Put your hand in this hole! Put your socks on your feet.” She set her socks on her lap, let out a sigh and looked straight at me. "So, now, tell me who you are?" My heart skipped a beat but what fell out of my mouth still baffles me to this day. I was so focused on HER and how frightened she must be feeling if she didn't even know me, the closest person to her...

My eyes met hers and I said calmly with a smile, "I am someone you trust and I'm not going to leave you. So you don't have to worry." I sat on the bed next to her and she put her head on my shoulder and melted into my side. I held her for a few minutes and she simply said "ok", and finished dressing with very little prompting from me.

God took over in those moments, allowing me to consider HER feelings and not how hurt I was.  I’m not saying that I didn't fall to pieces. Ten minutes later I left the room and cried my eyes out. But part of the emotion was thankfulness because God showed me His presence and His loving grace. I never thought that at such a profound moment in my life God would show up in such a tremendous way. He loves us so much that He took over for me because I didn’t have the strength nor the grace to say such a comforting thing to her; but He always does.

How is God showing up in your life? The same God who says to us, "I won't save you from a distance, I'll come to your world as you came; as a baby" is the same God who comes near to us in our suffering. You’ll never forget what He speaks to you out of the storm.

"I Shall Not Be Moved."
Soft Pastel, 2013

What is it to "set the Lord before me?"
It means to focus our gaze on Him, resting in all His fullness, trusting and believing His promises.  If we set Him before us and come to a fuller knowledge of His sufficiency, His holiness, His faithfulness, we deepen our trust in Him and we will not be moved. He promises to "indeed go before us". (Duet. 31:8) Will we choose to trust Him?